Perfect Love Displaces Fear....

...John 4:18.  Have you ever wished to know how to give up fear?
Fear:  that general, underlying anxiety that seems to need no logical reason to be there?
Worry, trepidation, whatever you call it - have you also been looking to end it in your life?  You may ask, "Is giving up fear even possible in our lives?" I believe it is.   Admonitions in the old texts prompt us to "fear not...be anxious for nothing...cast our cares," as though this is something that is entirely attainable, and even strongly desired for us.  But, easier said than done, this concept presents to me as the venerable "narrow road," or at least the greater part of it.  -True heaven on earth, to truly live in peace even on a peace-less planet. Impossible? I think not.
I believe that God will never ask us to do something that is outside our ability to do.
In prayer last night, something occurred to me that I believe was from outside my own mind, a true gift from above that may be absolutely key to success in this.  It ties these admonitions with another scripture which reminds us that there is no fear in love.  Fear and faith (read: trust; love) are, in fact, opposites.  It occurred to me that I've indeed also been seeking more love in life.  More openness,  less shyness, a desire to have "left it all on the field" when this phase of life is over.  -To have the courage to say what I need to say, to risk rejection, misunderstanding, or strange looks in order to finally become the being that is on the "blueprint" for me.  I'd never before seen the two concepts in convergence.  The essence of the message comes down to this:  if we find obedience in love, fear will be displaced, and we needn't even understand it.  If we explore life outside our shyness (but still within our own unique personality) and reach out for others daily, fear will take care of itself automatically.  Confidence will grow, compassion will increase, and self will gradually work its way out of the center of our lives. 

This is do-able.  But we focus on love, and God will focus on the fear for us, and we'll find victory even without a struggle.  -Even without knowing how it all works.  Love (God, light) moves in as fear (darkness) moves out.  And all I need to do is be me (the real one, going all out.)
It may not be pretty at times, but I think I can do this.

Our Choice: Rest or Risk?

Of the Ten Commandments, the first three deal with the most important concepts of all:  our concept and relationship to God. Then, before the slightest mention of how we should treat one another, number four shines as obviously next highest in priority: how we treat ourselves.  Do we run ourselves down in non-stop service and activity?  Or do we give ourselves time to rest, reflect and "allow our spirits to catch up with us?"  If the former is the case and not the latter, we run a great risk.  And in this era of high-powered activity and immediate access, an even greater one.  The human nervous system can only stand so much. 

     Rest, whether practiced in the literal Sabbath Day sense or in more metaphorical ways, is essential to human health and development.  Every few days our bodies and minds need to recharge.  Without this time, the body soon pays a price that is reflected eventually in the mind and soul.

     Symptoms of depression and anxiety can arise from a wide variety of underlying conditions.  But, in many ways (just as avoiding infectious disease isn't so much about avoiding germs as it is about increasing our immunity to them) the most potent strategy for staying out of "the pit" is developing a strong, healthy, well-rested system, both physically and mentally.

     I have found myself in "the pit" a few times, and each time, looking back in looking for clues, I find that exhaustion was the paramount cause.  Once, just after finishing a home-building project in which we contributed a tremendous percentage of the actual work, I failed to take the time to rest and live in "the moment."  In a hurry to "get 'er done," it was all about getting to that glorious day of having it finished.  Well, that day came, and it was not so glorious at all.  The fatigue was so profound that it took weeks to recover enough to even begin to enjoy the work of my hands.  I learned my lesson, and since then have never allowed myself to get so caught up in a project.  But a few years later, while nursing my second dying parent and dealing with numerous other significant changes in life, I became faced with an entirely different sort of exhaustion - one of the mind and spirit.  Again, it took several weeks to regain balance and health.  When looking back on how it might have been avoided, the answers were not so cut and dry, but the deficiency again was very clear: I was exhausted.  Two very different types of crises, but with a very common (and prevalent) cause:  lack of adequate rest.

     Our society doesn't prize rest.  It prizes achievement, accomplishment, growth, and moving and shaking.  Ads for everything from deodorant to automobiles appeal to individuals and families "on the go."   It's all about making it happen.  Messages such as "stop & smell the roses"  are often drowned out by loud, obnoxious admonitions to be more, get more, and "take it all the way!"

     We need to resist the current and listen to the still, small voice within which urges us, "thou shalt chill out a while and get your head back on straight." 

     We cannot control everything in life that comes our way.  Loved ones become ill or age and die.  Children grow up and move away.  Jobs go away.  Relationships go south.  Life happens.  But we can still rest.  Even in the midst of it all, it is possible to find time to recharge and refresh.  It is a must. 

     Whatever other items of help you may find on this site, please consider assessing your ability to rest and reflect on life.  Learning to do so has been life-changing for me.  I pray it will help you also.

High School + 30 Years: TJ Swann and Miss Foard

"To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me...at seventeen..."

Janis Ian said it well -high school isn't easy for everyone. And I'd venture a guess that it really wasn't easy for anyone. How many of us thought long and hard many nights about which image to cultivate, only to find that we are who we are, and aside from good grooming and other outer adjustments, "you" will eventually come through, "whomever" you purpose to be. So you make your way through the halls of the building, ever-conscious (or over-conscious) of making the right steps, saying the right things, and hoping to fit comfortably into this small society, hoping for it to later propel you into larger society as painlessly as possible.

After ten years, things change and you're consumed with building. -Building an education, perhaps a family, &/or a name for yourself somewhere in that larger society, so the high-school consciousness slowly fades and makes room for other things.

At twenty years, many are well on their way to realizing their dreams, be they based on career, family, or simply walking a better road in life. (By this time Ron and I were watching our children graduate and move into their own lives.) One would think that by now, that nervousness in the pit of one's gut in the halls of high school was all but a memory....

And even more so now, at thirty years past graduation, one would think it completely dead and gone. But if we're honest, I think we'd all say that some of that desire to "fit in" and "make the grade" with our classmates will always be there.

Things we ate & drank (like TJ Swann and other hideous fluids), the places we found ourselves (like parties with people nothing like ourselves) and the stunts we pulled (name your favorite from your experience) just to meet people and become a bit more popular, many of us would never admit. And it's my guess that even the most poised, confident soul in our class held dark doubts about him/herself (either well-hidden or well-denied) in order to push on just like the rest of us. And as the years have traveled on around us and it comes up to reunion time, I wonder if, like me, others look at their lives and still wonder if they "make the grade." Do they also take extra time to answer the question, "what do you do now?" or "what do you like to do now?" -hoping to impress? This is our class, after all. In the genesis days of our "image," they, whether we liked it or not, were the jury who would render the final verdict of "pass" or "fail." And though the years and miles now separate us, that mystical bond remains. These names and faces still hold a special power to make us feel like we belong. And, of course, with the immaturity of youth behind us, each decade when we're together, we feel we belong more and more. We seem, in fact, almost like a family in some ways. -Our class in particular, a class that (though very large) I remember as friendly and more exuberant from the start, has made reunion-ing that much more fun (not to mention that Ron & I were classmates as well, so we remember all the same people and share many of the same stories!)

It's that family-like dynamic that I appreciate now so much, and hope to see again this year. In this life, in so many things, you only get one chance. And so it is with "The Class of '80." We could very well have foregone getting together in decades past for the inevitable ritual, or, sadder still, simply not even had reunions and passed on into stranger-hood forever. But our Class of '80 is a rare gem, as I see it: when we gather, MANY gather, and really enjoy one another. We visit with some classmates whom we barely knew in school as though we were old friends because of a simple common bond: we walked those halls (nervously) together, and endured the pangs of ugly-duckling youth and the land mines of rejection as one soul.

Now, as nearly fifty-year olds (gulp) and many of us already grandparents (Ron & I four times over) we turn the corner from young adulthood into middle age, (in itself an imposing venture) with the warmth of (among others) the blessing of this "family" to take off the chill. And the awareness that, in a larger sense, we are all in this thing together, so we may as well have a blast and revel in every bit of closeness that we can muster. For whatever it is, God placed us on this earth at the same time and place in a certain moment in time to be a certain "people" and making the most of that would be most pleasing to Him as well.

So out comes my old class ring (at least 'till after the party) and out will come the memories again, for a while. Ron & I will dust off stories told about sports, teachers, and woodsies as we look again through those yearbook faces and trinkets that we've saved. all of this fits nicely into our daily efforts to enjoy life to the very fullest that we can, even the very clumsy, nervous days of Central High School and the very special people who made it (and make it) what it is.
-Class of eighty shines on bright, with the pride of Blue and White!