One More Step

Well, the result of the biopsy in the last post (and a second opinion which came in yesterday) was DCIS, a special cancer that is trapped in the milk duct and thus cannot do its host harm, unless it morphs into something more aggressive and eats its way out into the body tissues. Determining whose DCIS will do so (and whose will not) is something we are still a few years away from being able to tell, so treatment for either is often the same, a situation the industry itself admits is often over-treatment. Sad, but more understandable when you become one of those contemplating the dire results of walking away from treatment, then suddenly being invaded by true disease. (A fellow Breast Cancer forum member had this happen. Invasive cancer developed in between screenings, and it was not pretty.)

Anyway, all this to say, we are still inconclusive. So we move forward with a wide excision, commonly done to see if there is any invasive disease in the biopsied area. This procedure poses relatively little risk to know for sure and have more peace. This will be in about 2 weeks. Meantime, I believe that by upping my game on diet, exercise, and joy (read: busting stress), I can optimize my results at the cellular level. (If not, I'll feel better anyway and recover that much more quickly so nothing to lose there.) If invasive cells are found, radiation should probably happen next. But if not, my data is looking quite good for foregoing radiation for now (as it would provide little added benefit vs not doing it). And molecular data which I'd found and hoped could help, it turns out, can! We'll test for this along with other things. Woohoo!
But only surgery can reveal it all. So I rest in my choices, and in my God, and in following His plan of health for my life. Got my ears on for His further instruction and will go forward expecting (and actively creating) the best health, & the best life I can!

GREAT News - And More On the Way!

Well, the visit with the specialist yesterday went very well. I learned that one of the "suspicious somethings" seen on breast screenings will require no biopsy, as first believed. We shall wait and watch for any changes for a few months, and if none, dismiss it as no threat. Words cannot express our gratitude for this! Half of the uncertainty has now gone away. The outpouring of love and prayer on our behalf has taken us by surprise. We are especially thankful for this! 

As for the other: biopsy was done yesterday. So just a little longer to wait. I should get a call later this morning. This is when we learn one of two things: either I have some work to do to regain health, or (despite all of this drama) I was never ill at all. (Seems a long time to be held in suspense to hear that you are healthy, doesn't it? Especially with such a serious condition.)

Either way, in nearly two weeks of waiting, new light has been shed upon three things:

* How loved we are by God, friends, family (even strangers)

* How much loved ones have gone through with their health 

* What is truly important in life (and what is not)

Those who know us know that Ron & I have a passion for health. In recent days this passion has been validated as critically important for living our very best life. In fact, we hope to increase our efforts to live well. But bodily health is just a part. There’s also the mind: de-toxing from tired, old thinking in the face of new evidence (politics, religion, etc.) And the Spirit: casting down hurt, fear, and doubt that our loving God would ever let us down. Forgiveness and openness. Learning to live in peace and have fun no matter what.  And helping others do so, too!

This is true wholeness; what we were made for. -What a high price was paid for, & what we wish to honor.

We are made for better. And with God's grace & help, whatever today brings, we aim to live it all the way!

Of Faith and Fear: The Power of the Big Picture

Got word one week ago of something suspicious on breast mammogram screening, in fact two different suspicious somethings, one on each side. I was told a biopsy would be necessary to see if it's cancer. I've arranged for a second opinion (by a respected surgeon recommended by a friend) this Thursday in Denver. My doctor called soon after to say that a specialist was indeed in order, and that she was glad I'd done the footwork. If agreed that biopsy is necessary, I've arranged it to be done by the best, Anschutz campus in Aurora, where my sister and sister-in-law have both been treated. Neither can say enough good things about the people and technology there. I picked up copies of films and reports to bring along, so we're set. I've looked them over and determined (best I can with no training) that further screening is likely necessary. But much hope remains.
Now just a few more days' wait to see what's next.

When my sis-in-law was treated for breast cancer nearly five years ago, my prayer for her led me to a desire to learn about this area of medical science. With statistics showing a sharp increase in treatment, being prepared  for something like this made sense. Now, we don't want to borrow trouble from the future, but if faced with similar news, neither do we want to have to gather tons of info in a hurry, with so much else on the mind already.
When my little sis began treatment for Melanoma last fall, I brushed up on my study on simple ways to keep the body cancer free, sharing with her and others (see a previous post here). It's become a sort of passion. -Not fear, not obsession, just a desire for preparedness.-Big difference. Lots of other things in life to be lived, but hey, with a mom and now a full sis as cancer patients (mom lymphoma, sis melanoma), just praying and hoping doesn't cut it for me.
Well, here we are, crunch time. Time to see what all that study, nutrition, and exercise has been worth. A negative result would be both a relief and a confirmation. But it's critical to keep in mind that it would be dangerous to become attached to this. Even with a positive result, I'm still better off for all the effort, no doubt. And like the three Hebrew children, God will accompany me in the furnace as he has my sisses. It all comes down to this: knowledge removes a huge amount of the fear which is the real harm in these things. Knowledge of science (the best we have right now) and most importantly, knowledge of God. His warmth and comfort is all over Ron and me right now. There's a peace which I truly do not understand. I didn't conjure it up, there's no denial, there's just this peace. It seems to be a special gift of faith that only God can give, and I don't even remember asking for it. (The prayers of friends and family are no doubt responsible here, for which I'm very grateful).

Yes, despite moments of doubt and all the suspense, we still have a great time and, dare I say it? Fun is holy. Celebration in times of uncertainty blesses God's heart! Worry and fear is the real monster here, not cancer. I heard a long time ago that fear was the opposite of love. At the time I thought, "No, hate is the opposite of love." But I've learned since then that love generates faith and fun. Fear generates hate, and other nasty things. The primary forces really do seem to be love and fear. God is love, lack of God is fear. And I sit here this Monday morning looking at this mess and can honestly say (by no achievement of my own) that the love of God in my life surrounds me and I'm actually excited about what is to come, which is just insane! And we'll see if I soon eat those words. Humans are pretty good for that. But it's all about seeing the big picture (not just a few mammo/ultrasound shots) and knowing that I've answered God's prayers to me (see another previous post) and have done all that He has asked me to do to be healthy and prepared, and I can now rest and let Him do what I cannot. Good things are ahead, no doubt. ;)

A Pilgrim's Progress

Ron & I have been out of organized church for several years, but have instead chosen to meet, serve, and give in less structured ways. And in many ways, it's been great. But recently, I've been prompted by a dear sister to re-assess our church attendance status, which has led me though a wonderful week-long study of Church history as both a backdrop and a foundation for this re-assessment, for which I am very grateful.

The result? Well, in places I’ve uprooted my own misconceptions and had to open my heart. In others I’ve found truths which make me dig my heels in. Overall, though, I have seen that where we are is not ideal and am sensing a call to action. So here’s the scoop, in timeline form with a few short comments thrown in.

BC 100: Jewish and Roman worship in Jerusalem:

·         * Lavish temples in poor parts of town

·         * Obligatory, burdensome rules on giving, based on tradition rather than inspiration

·         * Meetings with inflexible programs and rituals, seldom inspired

·        *  Pedigreed Priests, elevated above other believers, at times heavy-handed

The prophet Isaiah pronounced this as a heavy yoke upon the people and proclaimed that one day this yoke would be abolished and broken over their necks.

AD 100: Worship in the new following called “The Way:”

·        *  Meetings in homes and other buildings, as provided

·         * “As-inspired” giving to church workers, sister churches, and the poor (at times selling to give)

·         * Orderly, yet inspired and highly interactive meeting programs

·         * Leadership of common but respected fellow believers, training the “laity” for ministry

This brought followers in by the thousands at times, and their numbers grew daily. This was the real deal and the “average man” knew it.

AD 1500: Christian worship in Europe: See BC 100 (Back to the heavy yoke, and add to it numerous onerous un-biblical traditions and expeditions which one could say crucified the Christ all over again in the eyes of the un-churched for centuries to come) This was unacceptable to Luther, the pilgrims, and many others. Since then,“The Way” has survived various reformations and schisms, and appears to be slowly returning to its less “religious” roots. The strength of these reforms shows that the common flock-member is anything but a sheep, and the tremendous growth of these movements shows that God is fully behind independent action when implemented with humility and love.

AD 2013:  Continued Reformation:   See AD 100 (Shattering new yokes)

It is hoped that Church growth will once again surge with this return to a less “religious” atmosphere. This current reformation is occurring both by loving admonishment from within church walls, and by creation of new forms of inspired worship without. But this is where I've had to open my heart: we well-meaning "pilgrims" need to be sure that if going from something, we go TO something, and aren't stuck in the wilderness in a tent all alone, vulnerable to deception and attack. We would do well to either search out our ideal (or close to it) and become involved, or consider God's help in creating that ideal somehow (which might also become the ideal of others and all is well!) But be honest in judging if you are really attached or not, then act. 

The Christian Church is alive and well, making headway from a childhood marked by vulnerability and manipulation, through the turbulent self-reckonings of adolescence (seldom seen in other faiths), to the quiet self-assurance of selfless adulthood, and her long-awaited wedding day.

Also, I've evolved in my idea of what a church really is. We believers are a part of a Body and that Body needs us. Though Scripture is scant in PREscription, its general  DEscription is that they meet regularly (weekly and even bi-weekly) and in groups large enough to have leaders, witnesses in disputes, and consistent opportunity to practice corporate worship and family life. Families are everyday kind of groups. –Village Inn once a month with the Joneses, not so much. (It’s certainly beneficial, but not really family.) We live together. We serve, help, and forgive each other. It’s work. I don’t really miss that part, but I now believe God misses it for me, and for others. And so I must deal with that, with God’s help.
But, with that said, let’s talk. Very clear in the NT: “Love God, love others.”  Not so clear (on purpose):  "Give this much, at these intervals.  Never miss a meeting. Give and serve, even when it hurts." These messages, though subtle, are still very much a part of today's worship; a remnant of religion's yoke still yet to be broken. Let's not deny it. Let's fix it. This yoke hides God’s freedom and power for many, and the result is that they never find true life.

Christ's yoke is easy. What does that mean? If joining a fold, it's keeping our ear open on how or where to give, when and where to gather, how to stay connected. If starting a fold, it's trusting God to meet your needs without undue pressure or obligation. and if needs aren't met, being open to other options. There are only two yokes. The light and the heavy. People gravitate to the light yoke. They should. And time is short.

Reformation must continue. -Again, either lovingly from within, or through loving alternatives without. But for one who cares about people, abandonment is not an option. The Bride of Christ cannot enter selfless adulthood and fitness for her destiny but that her members do so first.
So it looks like I’m back in the game.
Thanks again, sis. Thanks a lot! :)