Got word one week ago of something suspicious on breast mammogram screening, in fact two different suspicious somethings, one on each side. I was told a biopsy would be necessary to see if it's cancer. I've arranged for a second opinion (by a respected surgeon recommended by a friend) this Thursday in Denver. My doctor called soon after to say that a specialist was indeed in order, and that she was glad I'd done the footwork. If agreed that biopsy is necessary, I've arranged it to be done by the best, Anschutz campus in Aurora, where my sister and sister-in-law have both been treated. Neither can say enough good things about the people and technology there. I picked up copies of films and reports to bring along, so we're set. I've looked them over and determined (best I can with no training) that further screening is likely necessary. But much hope remains.
Now just a few more days' wait to see what's next.
When my sis-in-law was treated for breast cancer nearly five years ago, my prayer for her led me to a desire to learn about this area of medical science. With statistics showing a sharp increase in treatment, being prepared for something like this made sense. Now, we don't want to borrow trouble from the future, but if faced with similar news, neither do we want to have to gather tons of info in a hurry, with so much else on the mind already.
When my little sis began treatment for Melanoma last fall, I brushed up on my study on simple ways to keep the body cancer free, sharing with her and others
(see a previous post here). It's become a sort of passion. -Not fear, not obsession, just a desire for preparedness.-Big difference. Lots of other things in life to be lived, but hey, with a mom and now a full sis as cancer patients (mom lymphoma, sis melanoma), just praying and hoping doesn't cut it for me.
Well, here we are, crunch time. Time to see what all that study, nutrition, and exercise has been worth. A negative result would be both a relief and a confirmation. But it's critical to keep in mind that it would be dangerous to become attached to this. Even with a positive result, I'm still better off for all the effort, no doubt. And like the three Hebrew children, God will accompany me in the furnace as he has my sisses. It all comes down to this: knowledge removes a huge amount of the fear which is the real harm in these things. Knowledge of science (the best we have right now) and most importantly, knowledge of God. His warmth and comfort is all over Ron and me right now. There's a peace which I truly do not understand. I didn't conjure it up, there's no denial, there's just this peace. It seems to be a special gift of faith that only God can give, and I don't even remember asking for it. (The prayers of friends and family are no doubt responsible here, for which I'm very grateful).
Yes, despite moments of doubt and all the suspense, we still have a great time and, dare I say it? Fun is holy. Celebration in times of uncertainty blesses God's heart! Worry and fear is the real monster here, not cancer. I heard a long time ago that fear was the opposite of love. At the time I thought, "No, hate is the opposite of love." But I've learned since then that love generates faith and fun. Fear generates hate, and other nasty things. The primary forces really do seem to be love and fear. God is love, lack of God is fear. And I sit here this Monday morning looking at this mess and can honestly say (by no achievement of my own) that the love of God in my life surrounds me and I'm actually excited about what is to come, which is just insane! And we'll see if I soon eat those words. Humans are pretty good for that. But it's all about seeing the big picture (not just a few mammo/ultrasound shots) and knowing that I've answered God's prayers to me (
see another previous post) and have done all that He has asked me to do to be healthy and prepared, and I can now rest and let Him do what I cannot. Good things are ahead, no doubt. ;)
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