Of Faith and Fear: The Power of the Big Picture

Got word one week ago of something suspicious on breast mammogram screening, in fact two different suspicious somethings, one on each side. I was told a biopsy would be necessary to see if it's cancer. I've arranged for a second opinion (by a respected surgeon recommended by a friend) this Thursday in Denver. My doctor called soon after to say that a specialist was indeed in order, and that she was glad I'd done the footwork. If agreed that biopsy is necessary, I've arranged it to be done by the best, Anschutz campus in Aurora, where my sister and sister-in-law have both been treated. Neither can say enough good things about the people and technology there. I picked up copies of films and reports to bring along, so we're set. I've looked them over and determined (best I can with no training) that further screening is likely necessary. But much hope remains.
Now just a few more days' wait to see what's next.

When my sis-in-law was treated for breast cancer nearly five years ago, my prayer for her led me to a desire to learn about this area of medical science. With statistics showing a sharp increase in treatment, being prepared  for something like this made sense. Now, we don't want to borrow trouble from the future, but if faced with similar news, neither do we want to have to gather tons of info in a hurry, with so much else on the mind already.
When my little sis began treatment for Melanoma last fall, I brushed up on my study on simple ways to keep the body cancer free, sharing with her and others (see a previous post here). It's become a sort of passion. -Not fear, not obsession, just a desire for preparedness.-Big difference. Lots of other things in life to be lived, but hey, with a mom and now a full sis as cancer patients (mom lymphoma, sis melanoma), just praying and hoping doesn't cut it for me.
Well, here we are, crunch time. Time to see what all that study, nutrition, and exercise has been worth. A negative result would be both a relief and a confirmation. But it's critical to keep in mind that it would be dangerous to become attached to this. Even with a positive result, I'm still better off for all the effort, no doubt. And like the three Hebrew children, God will accompany me in the furnace as he has my sisses. It all comes down to this: knowledge removes a huge amount of the fear which is the real harm in these things. Knowledge of science (the best we have right now) and most importantly, knowledge of God. His warmth and comfort is all over Ron and me right now. There's a peace which I truly do not understand. I didn't conjure it up, there's no denial, there's just this peace. It seems to be a special gift of faith that only God can give, and I don't even remember asking for it. (The prayers of friends and family are no doubt responsible here, for which I'm very grateful).

Yes, despite moments of doubt and all the suspense, we still have a great time and, dare I say it? Fun is holy. Celebration in times of uncertainty blesses God's heart! Worry and fear is the real monster here, not cancer. I heard a long time ago that fear was the opposite of love. At the time I thought, "No, hate is the opposite of love." But I've learned since then that love generates faith and fun. Fear generates hate, and other nasty things. The primary forces really do seem to be love and fear. God is love, lack of God is fear. And I sit here this Monday morning looking at this mess and can honestly say (by no achievement of my own) that the love of God in my life surrounds me and I'm actually excited about what is to come, which is just insane! And we'll see if I soon eat those words. Humans are pretty good for that. But it's all about seeing the big picture (not just a few mammo/ultrasound shots) and knowing that I've answered God's prayers to me (see another previous post) and have done all that He has asked me to do to be healthy and prepared, and I can now rest and let Him do what I cannot. Good things are ahead, no doubt. ;)

A Pilgrim's Progress

Ron & I have been out of organized church for several years, but have instead chosen to meet, serve, and give in less structured ways. And in many ways, it's been great. But recently, I've been prompted by a dear sister to re-assess our church attendance status, which has led me though a wonderful week-long study of Church history as both a backdrop and a foundation for this re-assessment, for which I am very grateful.

The result? Well, in places I’ve uprooted my own misconceptions and had to open my heart. In others I’ve found truths which make me dig my heels in. Overall, though, I have seen that where we are is not ideal and am sensing a call to action. So here’s the scoop, in timeline form with a few short comments thrown in.

BC 100: Jewish and Roman worship in Jerusalem:

·         * Lavish temples in poor parts of town

·         * Obligatory, burdensome rules on giving, based on tradition rather than inspiration

·         * Meetings with inflexible programs and rituals, seldom inspired

·        *  Pedigreed Priests, elevated above other believers, at times heavy-handed

The prophet Isaiah pronounced this as a heavy yoke upon the people and proclaimed that one day this yoke would be abolished and broken over their necks.

AD 100: Worship in the new following called “The Way:”

·        *  Meetings in homes and other buildings, as provided

·         * “As-inspired” giving to church workers, sister churches, and the poor (at times selling to give)

·         * Orderly, yet inspired and highly interactive meeting programs

·         * Leadership of common but respected fellow believers, training the “laity” for ministry

This brought followers in by the thousands at times, and their numbers grew daily. This was the real deal and the “average man” knew it.

AD 1500: Christian worship in Europe: See BC 100 (Back to the heavy yoke, and add to it numerous onerous un-biblical traditions and expeditions which one could say crucified the Christ all over again in the eyes of the un-churched for centuries to come) This was unacceptable to Luther, the pilgrims, and many others. Since then,“The Way” has survived various reformations and schisms, and appears to be slowly returning to its less “religious” roots. The strength of these reforms shows that the common flock-member is anything but a sheep, and the tremendous growth of these movements shows that God is fully behind independent action when implemented with humility and love.

AD 2013:  Continued Reformation:   See AD 100 (Shattering new yokes)

It is hoped that Church growth will once again surge with this return to a less “religious” atmosphere. This current reformation is occurring both by loving admonishment from within church walls, and by creation of new forms of inspired worship without. But this is where I've had to open my heart: we well-meaning "pilgrims" need to be sure that if going from something, we go TO something, and aren't stuck in the wilderness in a tent all alone, vulnerable to deception and attack. We would do well to either search out our ideal (or close to it) and become involved, or consider God's help in creating that ideal somehow (which might also become the ideal of others and all is well!) But be honest in judging if you are really attached or not, then act. 

The Christian Church is alive and well, making headway from a childhood marked by vulnerability and manipulation, through the turbulent self-reckonings of adolescence (seldom seen in other faiths), to the quiet self-assurance of selfless adulthood, and her long-awaited wedding day.

Also, I've evolved in my idea of what a church really is. We believers are a part of a Body and that Body needs us. Though Scripture is scant in PREscription, its general  DEscription is that they meet regularly (weekly and even bi-weekly) and in groups large enough to have leaders, witnesses in disputes, and consistent opportunity to practice corporate worship and family life. Families are everyday kind of groups. –Village Inn once a month with the Joneses, not so much. (It’s certainly beneficial, but not really family.) We live together. We serve, help, and forgive each other. It’s work. I don’t really miss that part, but I now believe God misses it for me, and for others. And so I must deal with that, with God’s help.
But, with that said, let’s talk. Very clear in the NT: “Love God, love others.”  Not so clear (on purpose):  "Give this much, at these intervals.  Never miss a meeting. Give and serve, even when it hurts." These messages, though subtle, are still very much a part of today's worship; a remnant of religion's yoke still yet to be broken. Let's not deny it. Let's fix it. This yoke hides God’s freedom and power for many, and the result is that they never find true life.

Christ's yoke is easy. What does that mean? If joining a fold, it's keeping our ear open on how or where to give, when and where to gather, how to stay connected. If starting a fold, it's trusting God to meet your needs without undue pressure or obligation. and if needs aren't met, being open to other options. There are only two yokes. The light and the heavy. People gravitate to the light yoke. They should. And time is short.

Reformation must continue. -Again, either lovingly from within, or through loving alternatives without. But for one who cares about people, abandonment is not an option. The Bride of Christ cannot enter selfless adulthood and fitness for her destiny but that her members do so first.
So it looks like I’m back in the game.
Thanks again, sis. Thanks a lot! :)

God Praying to Us?

We've heard it before. Prayer is a two-way street. Then we blow it off, like so many other things we've heard before. But the reason that we hear some things so often is that they are so true.

When we keep our line of communication open, we sometimes get indications of things that we could do to change a negative situation in our life, make someone's day, or create a breakthrough in our personal growth.  And we entertain it for a while, then we get tired, busy, or distracted and it falls by the wayside. Is this God?  What would happen if we answered every such "prayer" that God sends through to us?
A note. An email. A Facebook message. A visit. A call. A "pay-it-forward." A random act of kindness.

Great moves of God are in the little things. What if we all answered every little prompting of love that we get? All those little things could end up to be HUGE. I used to run in circles where people waited on God. Waited on a move from God. For a revival from God. When would He come? When would He move? Meantime, we often ignored the still small voice in us that begged us to encourage that certain someone, or stop that unhealthy habit, or to forgive. And we wondered where God was.

This isn't religion. It's relationship. And that indeed is (or at least should be) a two way thing.

About a week ago, my brother-in-law emailed me to share a powerful desire to reach a certain segment of people a certain way for God. He was hoping for ideas and a bit of iron-sharpening. I looked at the note a few times, and wondered how to respond. At the time, I was very tired and distracted from various one-on-one ministry and career pursuits. So I responded honestly. I needed a boost. I was nowhere near where he was at the moment, and could he "come & get me" because I just wasn't there. He said he'd pray. A few days later I got a dvd in the mail. It was a documentary of a little town in Appalachia with a history of bootlegging, crime, feuding, and drugs. At one point in recent history, a large percentage of the population was enslaved to coke, oxy, and meth. Hope was nearly lost. The narrative focused on two families in this town and the heart break of slowly losing one of their own to drugs. It then showcased the deep corruption in law enforcement and civic leadership that not only allowed this suffering, but fostered it, drawing it from miles around. It seemed hopeless.

Then one day God showed up. Church people, up until now sad but silent, finally decided enough was enough. They began to pray. And when they did, God prayed back. He wanted them to unite, and act. They were afraid. Some were threatened. Drugs were big money and some did not want to lose it. Even some church people were obstacles, they were so afraid that they created pressure to keep things as they were. But as they prayed, they were even more moved to act. In the cold and the rain one Sunday, cars came, buses came. They walked, they biked, they hitch-hiked. The march happened, amid the threat and risk. It was huge! And they continued moving. In the months and years to follow, city leaders were indicted, new leaders were put in place, and hundreds of dealers (and lawmen) were also brought to justice. Volunteerism increased manifold, with involvement in schools, jails, and civic places. The two drug addicts, one a hardened, vicious criminal and the other, a young woman nearly been beaten to death by such persons, each found Jesus in special ways soon after. As did many more like them. The relief and jubilation of their families (and the town) was a joy to behold. And now the criminal ministers to inmates, rescuing them by the scores. The name of the town was changed to "City of Hope." Now, even wildlife in the lovely wooded area flourishes, with new species never known there before. It is a feel-good story with a real-life happy ending. But the moral is everything.

The spin on the story everywhere is that somehow this town attracted God's attention. But I have yet to hear one person spin it the way I do: God attracted theirs. Despite risk and threats, this town answered God's prayer. You could lay a big backdrop of mystical glory behind it, but God's love is a practical thing. The overwhelming turnout for the march is explained by the fact that undoubtedly everyone marching knew someone at that time who was a prisoner to drugs and wanted to fight for them. This is love. God is love. This is simple stuff. People stuck up for each other, finally. It was THEN when God could really move.

And this is where I am today. God talks to me. A lot. It may be a song on Pandora. A fleeting picture in my mind. An idea. A wish. I'm not good with resolutions, but I'm smart enough to know that these things happen one at a time. And my heart's desire today is to answer God's prayers in my life, one at a time. Then see where it leads. There's fear. There's risk. There's distraction. But there are some things to start with even today. So please pray for me.               "IF my people..."

New Year Organization, Re-thunk

Each New Year, I get really excited to do my annual de-cluttering. To me, de-cluttering is a large part of health. A simple landscape is a healthy head, for me. And a healthy head is a healthy me. I go through the house and studio, even the garage looking to purge and simplify. I hit the computer files and hard-copy files too. Nothing escapes the sickle. But this year is different somehow.

I've been re-thinking.
Is this really the best way, or just MY best way?
Health is individual. Nutrition, fitness, career. None of us is the same as another. What works for one is disaster for another, and vice-versa. So why would organization be any different?
Case in point: One traveler on a popular forum boasts about how light she packs for her tropical getaways. Just one backpack for a week. She washes clothes as she goes and leaves the clutter behind. Brilliant! But then I reason,"What if she needs an aspirin or a safety pin or Superglue? She now has to find a store and take valuable vacation time to hunt down her item."
Then there's the other kind of traveler. They bring everything. You've seen them. Someone at the dinner table needs an antacid, and they have three kinds. Their luggage is a U-Haul trailer. But by God, they won't be left shopping on vacation!
Ok. Which way is superior? You travel. You need itch cream. You either spend the time packing it or finding it. It's either front-end or back-end loaded. Does it really matter? One guy is savvy for his preparedness, the other guy for his simplicity.
Scenario two: you lay your ensembles out for the next day. Gym clothes, then office clothes.
Your hubby waits to do it the next morning. You are smug because when you wake up you're ready to go.
But the evening before, he enjoys his favorite tv show and doesn't save you any popcorn, cause you're too busy puttering about.
And you're all, "I'm all ready." And he's all, "I can be ready in five minutes." And you're all, "We'll see." And the next day he is, which is infuriating, but I digress. Isn't it all pretty much even-Steven?
Your garage actually fits cars into it. Your neighbor's doesn't, but they spent last weekend on a dirt bike, while you cleaned your garage.
Who has more stress?
It depends.
Health (including mental health) is individual. I like simple. I like prepared. These equal a quiet head to me.
But you might like complicated. What looks like your cluttered desktop to me might be simply your "system," and there's a place for everything, and everything is in its place. -Somewhere.
My time-savers might just be opening up more time to cram more activity in, and thus more stress.
Oh, my gosh. What have I done to myself?
I've got to go think about this.
Happy New Year. -Sheesh.

The Healing Power of Joy

As my younger sister is treated for Melanoma, my desire to help her to prevent this condition's recurrence is high.   Several years ago we lost Mom to a six-year battle with Lymphoma, and (too high) a number of good friends and family members have faced this challenge as well over the years. Prevention (for my sis, and for us) is paramount in my life right now. Individualized nutrition, fresh air, adequate sunshine and consistent exercise are all absolutely necessary for our healthiest life and Ron & I have availed ourselves of them all throughout the years.

But there's a lesser-known prevention measure that greatly deserves mention. And I'm more excited about this than all the others put together. But I'll let my good friend Don Richmond (recording artist, writer-musician extraordinaire, and cancer survivor) tell you what it is. In a recent conversation, when asked for his suggestions on diet, etc., he spontaneously added his insights on this prevention measure.

"Truly, I think one of the most powerful cancer-fighting things is to do things that bring joy - Joy with a capital J - things that make your heart soar and send chills up your spine. [And we all] need to do things that we always talk [ourselves] out of, saying that we have no time or that we are too selfish. Because the truth is, if we don't do those things we have nothing to offer others anyway. I came out of the period when I almost died knowing that in the core of my being. I still wrestle with it, telling myself I need to stay and work instead of going to the mountains or whatever, or taking a walk down to the river. "

Alamosa, CO Song-smith Don Richmond

He continues, "Sorry for the preaching - I couldn't not add that in - I think it is more powerful than almost anything else we can do. I also attribute a lot of my healing to the prayers and energies of others, and of God through that. But there is a saying that God cannot give us what we refuse to give ourselves, and I think that Joy I spoke of falls in that category."

Don's advice is timely and right on target. So often we deny ourselves joys in life which we view as frivolous or selfish. But a balanced life lies in both giving to others and taking for ourselves. Imagine that! It's been said that the cancer profile-type is often a studious, hard-working person who holds stress inside. They hesitate to do the things for themselves that others often do, and instead focus on others instead of themselves. In creating a healthy physical landscape where healthy cells thrive and cancer cells don't, our psychological landscape cannot be ignored. Our mind and body are one. And if we are laughing, loving, and living, things happen in our bodies that chase the blues (and the bugs) away. 

Question: do you know what you really enjoy? Wait. Think about that. Not what your spouse enjoys. Not what your friends enjoy. What YOU enjoy? Do you enjoy it regularly? If not, what keeps you from it? 

What do you really enjoy?

These may be life-or-death questions, so ponder them carefully. Also, it's worth mentioning that there are many things that weigh on our minds each day that would rob us of our joy. The world is in disorder, our finances don't always balance out, and maybe our jobs or families are not what we'd hoped for them to be. It's enough to make for a pretty noisy head. But we needn't live in those parts of our head. Emotions (anger and fear, for example) were created to help us to make needed adjustments in our lives, and then be put aside until needed again. They were never designed to hold us captive and addicted. We are emotional free agents-we were designed with the ability to choose. And I choose joy. You see, joy saved my life also. In a very painful season several years ago, hurt and fear took over. My health suffered and my body weight dropped which made it even worse.  Positive cognition came very hard at that time, but somehow I knew that in addition to whatever physical methods I used to recover, restoring joy to my life would be the key to permanent recovery. You can read about it here. 

And restore it did. Hard as that time was, it opened a door for me that may never have been opened otherwise. And for that I am thankful. Joy is a choice that will always lead to healing, and winning. And it can come in the smallest of things. If you really want to win in life, you've got to check your joy gauge. When it's empty, it's hell. But it's hard to get to the top. Joy is something we humans can't get enough of. Being cognizant of joy, and including it in our schedules (and budgets-c'mon, pedicure!) is a noble thing to do!

I'll leave you with this on the matter. A shot of me with my littles. And a caption from Mr. Richmond.
                     "I see you holding your grandbabies - now there's Joy with a capital J!"

Health: The Full Landscape

A Healthy Body Terrain is Critical for an Optimal Life

We all enjoy a hike in beautiful terrain. It does our soul good to see nature in balance -soil, plants, trees, animals all thriving in a healthy, balanced environment where even the less beautiful elements are there for a reason, when they stay in their proper place.

In some ways, the human body is a lot like that landscape. 

It's becoming crystal clear to me that in human health, disease is just a signal, not really the problem itself. When disease presents itself, it's saying that something bigger, underneath in the body's terrain, is wrong and must be corrected or it will return. It's like weeds growing in soils where other life cannot grow so well. Or trees along a mountain trail. When they're healthy and well-watered, they're fine, but deprived of water, they are vulnerable to disease and infestation.We can treat these weeds or bugs, but we should never forget to treat the terrain itself, if we can. Modern medicine is a blessing, but most often, it doesn't look for underlying problems as it should. We need to do this work for ourselves. Determining what is wrong (deficiencies, etc) can be a difficult task but once we do it, we can find more lasting success because our bodies want to cooperate in our healing and will do amazing things to keep it!

It's so easy these days to put our health on the back burner. And yet with today's foods, stress, and environmental factors, it seems we pay more of a price for doing so than we ever have. And that seems so unfair! But like it or not, we have to be more diligent in avoiding disease than ever before. We cannot depend on anyone else to do it for us!

I've corrected a number of things in my own health in recent years, and these corrections are an everyday task. I fall down sometimes, but have been doing much better. Diet is my big challenge. I've frankly been a bit flippant about it, thinking that since I see no outer signals that all my sugar and refined food intake is a problem, that it won't someday be a problem inside somewhere. Sugar (from sweets and from many starches) creates a high-acid environment in the body (among other negative changes), and disease thrives in such an environment. Even if one's metabolism uses sugar well without storing fat, the toxins that it produces are surely not something one should subject their body's terrain to so much, especially with age. The same may be true about certain meats (at least in current amounts) which I am currently researching. And lastly, I just need more live foods. Period. I believe if I were to simply change that, I could buy myself the added energy and alertness I've been praying for, as well as a reduced risk of illness in so many ways. 

So I'm wising up.-And it's about time.
Below is my current outline for better health for the DH and me. 
We have a lot of work to do, but it's so worth it.

The Goal:

Better Body Terrain

The Work:

✔   Adequate sleep

✔   Adequate fresh air/sunshine

✔   Adequate, varied exercise

✔   Stress management

✔   Joy, self-care

✔   Hydration

✔   Deep breathing

__  Adequate nutrition with fewer supplements

The Plan:
✔  Get suggestions from friends
__  Watch "Food Inc."
__  Re-read "In Defense of Food" (Thanks to my daughter Annie for both of these)
__  Review food sources
__  Draft individual diets
__  Integrate diets into meal plans

Better get to it right now. With a little diligence and a lot of prayer, We'll find success. Thank you to the friends I've polled for ideas. I may share more of them later. Here's to a better health landscape!

Casting Cares...For Real

I was awakened early this morning by...cares. Nothing major, just...cares. One after another until I realized that this was not spicy food, not hormones, not anything other than that same old uneasiness about life's little things that can so easily creep up on us when we forget to, well, cast our cares.

It started with things I need to do tomorrow. Then it made its way through loved ones, their health, jobs, general well-being...Then on to whatever was next on the list. Before I realized it, I had lost my peace somewhat. At this point, I remembered that I was made for better and that I needed to act. I knew how to release. I had done it before, in fact I'd become aware that it needs to be done now and then. Perhaps daily, even. But things get busy and we get caught up. So here I was looking at the ceiling asking God for help. And He showed up. I was instructed to simply breathe. 

That's all. Breathe. Breathe out worry and fear. Breathe in (deeply) confidence and trust.  Each care was to go into a box "over there" and if it came back, it was to go in again. Done. Now leave them alone and enjoy the rest. As if by miracle, my peace came back and I with cleansing tears of gratitude, I was able to roll over and simply go back to sleep. Deep, peaceful, restful. I awoke wondering why I let God's wonderful healing ever get so far away. I truly believe that there are many people who want to know God better, because they know He cares and heals. But they see so many "Godly" people who aren't healed that they wonder where to find the real thing. They know that what He wrote down in the old texts is a literal prescription for the most awesome life ever, but so many people who would die for that book are sadly dying also for their disease, anger and fear. Where is the real life manifestation of God's love and inner peace? Where is it?

I know that for me, it is greatly in casting my cares. -Renewing my mind. -And attitude of gratitude, trite as that has become. But so beautiful. I don't have to worry. I don't. Someone loves me enough to suffer a horrible fate in order to make a cosmic switch which trades my anxiety for His peace. So who am I to not accept it thankfully? I don't understand how it works, but that won't keep me from realizing that it does. Or from taking advantage. Knowing God on a friendship level is amazing. Knowing Him as your healer and peace-maker, wow. It's incredible. I just wish I could show it more in my life so others would want it more for themselves. Oh, well. I'll keep at it, and thank my loving Lord every day for it. And celebrate a great life. Thank You, Father, sooooo much!