Stay-cation Sentiments

8-4-09 Rest

One week – to do anything. Work, play, plan, clean.......
The choice: rest.
I think we’ve forgotten how to do this.
And we pay for it dearly.
Not just rest for the body, but rest for the soul.
In our culture of ambition and achievement, we look down on “down-time.”
Oh, we pay it lip-service, but we’ve forgotten what it’s like to really re-charge the body and mind...and forget about re-charging the spirit. It’s hardly spoken of. Therefore, we live with “dis-ease,” in the body and in the spirit. Like plants withering (yet alive) we settle for living this way-as a Savior grieves....
Anxiety and depression are everywhere-so desperate, in fact, that we resort to medications and any other refuge we can. Even those of us sitting in church, singing,
“He is my peace...”
We say things without believing them, and without knowing that we don’t believe.
We who’ve said “the sinner’s prayer” think that we’re commissioned to go introduce the world to a peace which we ourselves have never really met.
In fact, we serve earnestly while our peace dwindles more, from all the stress of serving.
Is is because we’re more often sold the blessings of service instead of the blessings of rest? And why is this? Is it (dare I say) because the church needs our service more than it needs our rest? Or is it just that it’s against our grain to rest anyway (the church included?)

Ever wonder why the Ten Commandments are ordered the way they are-the first three surrounding God’s image, worship, and Name, and then, before ever mentioning human relations (lying, stealing, murder), the fourth is, “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy,” (that is, to separate it and make it a priority)? –To take care of ourselves and take time to think, seek, renew, and re-vive, or we’ll never be able to allow the Savior to fulfill the other things asked of us, spiritual or otherwise.

This week I could’ve chosen to do anything. But I’ve chosen rest, and in so choosing, I hope to hear what I couldn’t hear before-when work was calling, or when play was calling, or when it was just time to get up, and move again.

What an unusual way to spend a vacation! But I’m praying a most useful, and valuable one. Hey, in a “stay-cation” economy, it’s the perfect year to save the time & money, and go on a thrilling treasure-hunt right here at home, seeking the wealth of a quiet head, a simple wisdom, and a life more perfectly-lived…

…Seeking the treasure of rest.

8-5-09
Perspective
I prayed that if I resisted the temptation to build, to fix, and to organize for just 48 hours, and instead do only essential works and otherwise quiet myself, rest and reflect, I would find new perspective-that I’d have eyes and ears that I had not had yet.
Two days have passed, and here is what I have:
I turn on the television to a station where I often hear things from God through people.
I did again-only this time, the still small voice seemed to be correcting something the person said. Here is the statement:

“…Years ago when I didn’t have much of a ministry -I was just teaching a small Bible study….” Whoa. Wait right there. I just turned this thing on and the first sentence I hear makes me want to turn it right off again. I listened through the precept being taught and it was a good one. -One which I‘ll use, and be thankful for. But those words just kept coming back. I remembered listening to another gifted teacher’s recording some months ago and her (paraphrased) words:

“I had a dear friend in another state, the pastor of a small fellowship. I was to bring my ministry there in just a few weeks, and his ministry (and he as a minister) would then receive much-deserved recognition and growth. But he was suddenly stricken with cancer and died before this could happen. He never got the chance to fulfill his destiny, and it was confusing and disturbing to me…”

What was confusing and disturbing to me was the notion behind these statements.
Small Bible studies = not much of a ministry?
Small churches = unfulfilled destinies?

See, I had a train wreck five years ago. I ran into my ego. (This is hard to write for myself to read, so if I ever get the nerve to post it, I pray that it bears major fruit.)
I’ve always felt special. But I didn’t know what “special” meant until my train wreck.
Let me clarify. Man values fame. God does not. Man values money. God does not. Man values a gift only if many men value it. God does not.
I was mid-40’s and had gifts. People said it for years. They spoke a “destiny” of greatness into me. But I was this late in life and saw nothing that resembled that destiny. Oh, sure, I had an amazing daughter and son, who had amazing marriages and families, I had an amazing marriage myself, and a relatively drama-less life full of wonderful memories and phenomenal friendships, including my friendship with the Almighty.
But I had not “become somebody,” in my mom’s words, and it didn’t look likely to happen. Sacrifices I’d made for this “dream” produced moderate “success” but I wasn’t willing to make additional sacrifices to see more “success.” I opted instead for things which I valued more, things that I knew held the real payback.
But we waiver in the wisdom that God sends. And now I asked, “Where is my destiny?”
The pain, sleeplessness, and suffering that followed, along with a beautiful transformation to truth, is for another log entry, but suffice it to say that I learned that all this time I’d been saying that I knew I was special to God just as I was, and didn’t need to perform or achieve in order to be special to Him, or to others. But I didn’t believe one word of it. I’d been indoctrinated to the world’s values: the more lives you touch, the more your own life is worth. Leave a mark on the world. Grow, achieve, BECOME SOMEBODY!

“Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Since then a transformation has taken place, slowly, in my mind.
I’m beginning to believe the truth that my gifts were planted in me for beauty and fun and joy-for myself and the lives around me (none of my business how many lives that may be.) These gifts are pure and holy and to be set aside for the sake of love and not to be exploited for fame or gain. They exist to show God in me, the original Creator and beauty-maker, and to inspire that beauty in others, so that they, too, may live. I was forged a special soul, and remain a special soul regardless of who knows it, because He knows it. I’m actually beginning to get that!
So now when I hear someone despise their humble beginnings as though their lives have not always been significant as measured by man’s marks of success, I can catch it, filter it out, and receive the rest of the message undefiled.

Now, if I’d not rested so well, would I have had this clear a perspective? Maybe, maybe not.
Or how about this little treasure, just today becoming so clear to me:

God’s life is not about being good, it’s about living good.
But this entry is for tomorrow....