Woke Up Tired (4/05)

Woke up tired. It may be good to take the day and recover at least part of the weekend that I just missed to just rest and recover from the last two weeks’ rigors. But we’re so close on the home project, and moving day is just around the corner. One more afternoon should do it. But I know my ways in these matters, and my habit to push too hard. I’d better ask for wisdom on that. It’s almost nine and I want to be with Mom at the hospital. I just can’t seem to get going, though. Dishes are piled up and mail and bills are to be gone through. Her bills are to be paid, and mistakes on them chased down. It seems like so much. Lord, here is where the rubber meets the road. Through tears of determination, my flesh is to give up, but my heart knows that I’m made for better. You know my heart, Master. It’s open to Your inspection. Here is the make or break. I’ve learned so much at Your feet these last few months; where I was weak and where I was stubborn. Now I can take that, and choose the better path. But I need Your sustenance to do so. No longer do I choose to stumble here and there, using precious time to regain my footing. That’s just not good enough any more. I want to walk. Sure. Strong. Steady. Just walk, and not be weary, even run and not faint. Unlike before, I now believe that this can be done, with trust and tenacity. Few get to experience it, Lord. I want to be one of them. You have a purpose for me, and I don’t want to miss any of it. In the end, I want to be proud and happy, not ashamed and disappointed. Hold me steady, Lord. You’ve been so faithful to me. And you will always be. I will trust in You with all my heart, leaning NOT unto my own understanding. In all my ways, I’ll acknowledge You, and YOU, YOU, YOU will direct my paths. Please help me keep watch over my thoughts today, and if I cannot ascend my stairway, help me to at least stand my ground and not descend. I’ve come too far to lose what You’ve so graciously given. Please strengthen us all, and touch Mom today with your warm, tender care. We take hold of your garment together and know that there is healing for us there. I love you so much, Lord. Expecting good things…amen